28 May 2009

TxTag--I love you. (Jim)

You hate toll roads, I hate toll roads, Texas politicians hate toll roads, heck, EVERYBODY hates toll roads. Wait a second, are you kidding? I LOVE toll roads (sort of)! As a result, I wanted to share my love letter to TxTag with all of you.

Dear TxTag--

In a world full of traffic delays, congestion, and stop lights, you shine forth as a beacon upon the roadways, beckoning to all that there is, truly, another path. You say "Come to me, all ye who are weary and heavy-laden and let me show you a better way."

This past weekend, my wife (as dear to me as you are TxTag, she is first in my heart) and I were able to take advantage of your services on toll roads in Austin and Houston. Formerly, our travels would have been frustrations of sitting in traffic and stopping at the 9,473 traffic lights between Leander and Spicewood Springs (yes, Cedar Park, I'm talking to you). Even worse, the dreaded I-10 and I-45 stretches of Houston traffic nastiness would have made me a quivering wreck of a man. Before I met you, that stretch of completely stopped traffic on I-45 heading north out of Houston would have reduced me to an incoherent mess.

But, no, you rescued me from all that. You said, "let me take you on this luxurious bypass of Leander and CP and drop you off a mile from your destination. Here, I'll even put a mint on your pillow." As we prepared to go to battle on I-35 to get out of Austin, you swooped in and saved us, even letting us laugh at all those poor fools below us stuck on that miserable stretch of interstate highway. Oh, and after leaving that Sunday Rangers win over the Astros, you came to our rescue yet again, taking us on a scenic journey on a certain Hardy Toll Road and putting us back on our homeward course with nary a brake light in sight.

Oh, and TxTag, let me not forget to sing your praises in allowing us to do all of this without having to stop at those evil "Exact Change Only" toll booths. I was there, without a coin on my person, and you put your hand out and said, "Do not worry, follow me."

TxTag--my friend, my trusted companion, my help in time of trouble, I only have one more thing to say. I love you.

Fondly yours,

(Five days later, looking at his TxTag account balance)
"Wait a second, it costs HOW MUCH to use the toll roads? TxTag, I hate you.

1 comment:

Chelsea said...

Yeah, we avoid the toll roads. We stick to HOV lanes and radio entertainment. It's cheaper!